Saturday, June 25, 2005
I have a tendency to dream really big, thinking of all the things I wish to do, the places I wish to go and where I wish to be in future times to come. BUT and that’s a big “but”, with the excitement of developing and thinking of my dreams also comes the most gut wrenching fear imaginable… the “What if I can’t make my dreams a reality?”, “What if I fail?”, “Can I really do this?” type of fear.
Does that sound familiar?
I realize that I am not alone in feeling fears, especially when it comes to change. Everyone has fears and change can be a very scary prospect. It’s that fear of the unknown that kicks in and grabs you right in the gut. So what do you do about it? How do you move past the fear and on to the good stuff?
Time to Face the Fear
First it is important to realize that change is good, dreams are wonderful and fear is something to leverage rather than get caught up in. Fear does not have to hold you hostage and can even act as a motivator.
When fear rears its ugly head, give the following suggestions a try:
1) Write your fears down on a piece of paper. Really think and feel them through ..What do they look like? Where do they come from? Why do they scare you so much? Get it all down on paper.
2) Next to each fear, write down the worst thing that could possibly happen if that fear became a reality.
3) Then for every fear try to create a positive thought or even an affirmation that you can think or say when that fear is present.
4) Visualize the fear as an object that can’t hurt you, one that you can discard, for example, see the fear as a piece of paper that you rip to shreds. (If it helps take the piece of paper where you have written down your fears and literally rip it to pieces or even set it aflame.)
I invite you to challenge your fear and stare it square in the eye. Realize that you do not have to face fear alone. Understand and feel that you can make your dreams a reality, accept change and move forward in spite of fear. You have what it takes within you!
As always, if something about this entry has triggered a thought, feeling, suggestion, question or comment, please feel free to share. I welcome your contributions always.
Until next time, be well…
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Imagine being 17, you’re contemplating where you want to go with your life, trying to fit in with the cliques, do well in school and deal with the usual teenage pressures. (Bring back memories?)
Then, what seems out of nowhere you receive a trinket of advice, “Happiness is a switch in your head and you don’t have to reach for it through your rectal orifice.”
OK, how is that supposed to help and what does it mean??
Now let’s fast forward a bit….
Several years ago, I think I reached the lowest point; business was slower than molasses, my son was being bullied at school and I had the stress of trying to sell my house. I spent a lot of time crying on my dad’s shoulder. Once again, with love, that phrase reappeared on the scene…”Pam, happiness is just a switch in your head…”
Honestly, I wanted to scream…hearing that made me feel worse rather than better -- like something was wrong with me because I was not able to “flip that switch”.
I spent time digesting those words, trying to understand the very meaning. Feeling that I was already at the end of my rope, I was ready to try anything. Heck, what did I have to lose and what could thinking a few positive thoughts hurt?
It took some time and practice, believe me. There were times when I did not believe what I was saying to myself. Once I shifted my beliefs and continued to practice replacing my negative thoughts with positive ones, the more I began to act and feel positively and I’ll be darned if things did not start changing. I began to smile more, I no longer woke up with a dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach, money worries dwindled, I started living my life with purpose, felt less stress, and even lost weight (which was a goal).
We all have that negative self-talk in our heads, especially when it comes to making changes. It’s natural. We also have the power within us to turn that negative self-talk around and replace it with positive beliefs, thoughts, and feelings.
Here are just a few suggestions to help get those positive thoughts and feelings flowing:
1) Draft at least three really powerful affirmations that are centered on your goals, beliefs and desires. Something that resonates with you and ignites a fire.
2) Make sure that the affirmations are written in the present tense, for example, if your goal is to lose weight, your affirmation could be “I am always able to maintain my ideal weight of <ideal weight>”.
3) Say your affirmations 10 times each right when you wake up and 30 minutes before bed.
4) When a negative feeling begins try turning that negative into a positive. For example, “I can’t do this” can be changed to “I can do this and I am a success at everything I do.” Keep repeating that positive saying until the negative feeling disappears.
Just remember, you don’t have to deal with negative thoughts and feelings alone!
If something about this entry triggered a thought, feeling, comment or question, by all means, please share it here. Together we can make a difference.
Until next time, be well…
Write It Down Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want And Getting It