Saturday, July 02, 2005
Drawing Boundaries
Throughout the course of my life I have sometimes found it really
difficult to “draw a line in the sand”. I have stumbled over being
clear on my boundaries and being afraid to uphold them. Oftentimes, I
have felt guilty, as if I am letting someone down or opening myself up
for criticism. OK, so maybe it is the fear of being seen as difficult…
who knows?!
What
I have found (and learning all the time), by not drawing that line, I
have sometimes placed myself in the position of being walked over and
taken for granted. Not only have I not done myself any favors, but a) I
have enabled the development of a potentially destructive pattern and
b) I have not done others any favors either. (Besides, it is not fun
feeling angry and resentful.)
We’ve all been there…
…The client asking for just one more thing, while behind on a payment;
…A friend who takes and hardly gives in return;
…The family member who is constantly in a pickle and calls on you to bail them out time and time again.
Left feeling bruised and spent, is that the time when a person says, “Enough is enough?”
It’s OK to Say “No!”
When you are in difficult place, one where you may be taken advantage of, think of the following:
1) No
one deserves to be walked upon or treated as a second-class citizen. It
is OK to take that stick out and draw that line if you are about to be
rolled over.
2) Be
true to yourself, your integrity and what you hold near and dear in
your heart. Use your gut instincts as a guiding force for upholding
your boundaries or even developing new ones. (I was once told that your
gut instincts are 99% right – it’s true.)
3) Remember,
you have to look yourself in the face every morning. If going against
your boundaries is going to prevent you from being able to do so…the
answer is simple, “draw a line”.
Just
remember, while upholding your boundaries might be difficult, in the
long run it will produce amazing results. You’re worth that!!
As
always, if something about this entry has triggered a thought, feeling,
suggestion, question or comment, please feel free to share. I welcome
your contributions always.
Until next time, be well…
Pam
Posted by Pam at 2:47:10 PM in Creating Change (93) | Permalink | Comments (0)
