Monday, June 26, 2006
I love this empowering quote because it captures what is really important…loving yourself. There is no one on this earth like you!! You are unique; you possess special traits, wonderful qualities, and amazing skills like no other.
My wish for you is to see the beauty that you possess, to embrace the amazing assets you have rather than focusing on the negative. For example, if you feel your arms are too small or too flabby, instead of focusing on the negatives, what would it feel like if you were to say to yourself, “These wonderful arms provide me with the ability to _______.” (hug my children, do my wonderful work, get dressed with ease)?
Please know that this has nothing to do with being conceited or boastful. This has everything to do with you creating good feelings about you for you! Don’t delay; a beautiful love affair with a fabulous person is yours for the taking. Give it a go and see what happens.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Today marks the one year anniversary of Make the Most of U! This past year has been an amazing journey and I have truly enjoyed sharing and engaging with the readers of this blog. Thank you…
…to everyone who has read and contributed their time and thoughts. It is that time and those thoughts that have inspired me.
web designer and best friend, Jon… for it has been his talent and support that has helped to make this blog and my coaching website a reality.
…to my amazing
…to my family and friends for their support, love, and encouragement.
…to my own coach,Amy for her infinite wisdom.
I value and appreciate you all!
Here is to another great year at Make the Most of U! Please keep sharing and keep making a difference.
In love and gratitude…
Sunday, June 11, 2006
You know sometimes it’s really pretty cool when a powerful lesson you learned at some point in your life resurfaces. Those types of reoccurrences often remind us of the amazing tools we have in our toolboxes…tools that may have shifted to the bottom, but are still there just waiting to be used.
Early on in my coach training at Coach U I learned a great technique called Success Formulas*. In short, Success Formulas* are simple, easy to remember equations for helping a client achieve a goal.
This wonderful little technique reappeared at just the perfect time, at a time when I was contemplating forward movement for some of the intentions I had set. As I was revisiting my intentions all the sudden I remembered a simple equation I created many moons ago…
Now when I look at my list of intentions, I don’t just see the intentions, but I start to see potential actions I can take to achieve results.
Does it sound simple? It is, because the wonderful thing about equations is there is no right or wrong, there are no set factors, pieces, variables or parts. These equations contain whatever you wish for them to…anything that resonates and helps you achieve whatever you want.
Now it’s your turn. Think of something that you really wish to gain or achieve. With the outcome in mind, come up with some factors or variables for your equation in order to create that outcome.
Until next time, be well and have fun creating your own Success Formula*….
Sunday, June 04, 2006
In December I wrote a blog entry called “Smelling the Roses”. The entry is essentially about not letting life and the important things pass you by.
I was reminded of this entry this past week when I received the sad news that a friend, valued colleague, and coaching buddy passed away from cancer. I recalled our last coaching call in January where he told me he was taking a break from coaching to pursue other career options. I could hear his disappointment because he was really excited about coaching. While we decided to stop coaching one another, we did say we would keep in touch.
Long, story short, we did not stay in touch and I could not be more saddened by that. I am now once again reminded of how important it is to stop what you are doing, even if just for a moment, and take time to…
…reach out to friends and family to let them know you are thinking of them.
…be grateful for the people and wonderful things we have.
…say “thank you” to those that have touched your life.
My wish for you is to seize the moment and not wait…let someone who has made a difference in your life know just how grateful you are.
And to my friend and coaching buddy, while I did not have chance to say this to him in person, I wish to share this now…
My friend, thank you for being there to render advice, offer great suggestions, and lend support when I was feeling a bit unsure of my own abilities. Thank you for touching my life and the lives of others…for making a difference and for this valuable reminder to seize the moment. Thank you for being you. You will be missed.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
What does hiding get you?
We all do it or have done it in our life times. We hide or have hidden behind fears, old wounds, our past, false expectations (our own and others), perceptions…and why? Because hiding behind some thing that may be uncomfortable actually feels safe and familiar.
As a child did you ever play “Hide-And-Seek”? If you did then you probably remember picking a hiding space that was rather concealed from others. That was the whole point to be concealed and hard to find.
Well, when we hide from challenges, from our dreams, from potential risks (the good ones, that is), that is what we are doing, we are concealing ourselves…not only from others, but from life, and our authentic selves. Life is passing us by and opportunities are floating adrift.
So let me ask you again, what does hiding get you? Do you have more to lose or to gain by not hiding? My wish for you is to think about those questions, to think long and hard about them.
Yes, putting yourself out there may feel risky and even scary, but in doing so you become available to potentials. Potentials to gain what you want, to learn, to grow… potentials that would not have presented themselves because you were hiding and they could not find you
Ollie ollie oxen free…you can come out now. Take the chance, step out from that hiding place, take that challenge, because YOU have more to gain by no longer hiding than you do to lose.
Until next time, please be well…
Sunday, May 21, 2006
When we are capable of living in the moment free from the tyranny of "shoulds," free from the nagging sensation that this moment isn't right, we will have peaceful hearts. - Joan Borysenko
I love this quote – it serves as a wonderful reminder that what we have is right now. We cannot do anything about the past (with the exception of learn from it) as it has already happened. We cannot do anything about the future because it has yet to come. We can do something about this present moment.
Worrying about tomorrow and what has yet to happen only takes away from focusing on the here and now and the wonderful opportunities that are presenting themselves.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Several months ago I wrote a blog entry entitled “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change”. That entry spoke to the issue of being asked to be something other than who you are. However, today’s entry is more about the perceived notion of being perfect.
This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart because some where along the way I got the message to be perfect. The perfect person who did not make mistakes, who was the perfect weight, who wore the perfect clothes… I think you get the idea.
How did that message to be perfect serve me? How does it serve me now when it rears its head from time-to-time?
Not very well! Personally, it’s no fun dealing with the pressure, pressure that hangs heavy like a weight around my ankle. It’s an energy drain and emotionally stifling.
If this all sounds too familiar, then please continue to read on…
1) There is no such thing as perfect and striving for perfection is a never ending circle. How does being dizzy sound?
2) The quest for perfection creates pressure which distracts you from those things that are productive and will serve you better.
3) Needing to be perfect lands you a one-way ticket to Comparison-ville. In comparing yourself to others and what others have, you negate and miss out on all the wonderful things that you have, all the amazing attributes you possess.
4) Trying to achieve perfection is like walking through life with a bag over your head. You miss out on some fantastic growth and learning opportunities.
My wish for you is that you give yourself permission to not be perfect. Give yourself permission to be human, with warts and all. It is the warts and all that makes you the special person that you are.
In closing, I wish to share some really awesome quotes which I hope will empower you and provide some good food for thought.
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. - Anna Quindlen
Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. - Dr. David M. Burns
Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault. - Dr. David M. Burns
Perfectionism is simply putting a limit on your future. When you have an idea of perfect in your mind, you open the door to constantly comparing what you have now with what you want. That type of self criticism is significantly deterring. -John Eliot, Ph.D., Reverse Psychology for Success
As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.
Please be well…
Saturday, May 06, 2006
This beautiful story was sent to me and I warn you it is a bit long, but well worth the read. It serves as a wonderful reminder of how WE all can and do make a lasting impression.
The Old Telephone
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked into it.
Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.
My personal experience with the genie-in-a-box came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.
A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.
"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."
"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul - always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."
Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please." "Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.
Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said "Information Please."
Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.
I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."
I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
"I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.
"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."
Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered.
"Information." I asked for Sally.
"Are you a friend?" she said.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."
Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?" "Yes." I answered.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you." The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.
Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.
What is the impression you make or wish to make?
Saturday, April 29, 2006
We don’t attract what we want, we attract what we are. - Author Unknown
I have been thinking a lot about that quote which hangs on the white board in my office. It was passed along to me by my own coach. To me, it is a very powerful reminder of how important it is to be the best person possible …To be genuine, honest, in integrity, loving, caring, and generous.
What are you attracting? Are you attracting and manifesting the things that you really want in your life?
Saturday, April 15, 2006
It has always been my passion and purpose to support others in finding direction, getting unstuck, removing obstacles…basically collaborating to create a life road map that leads to better living and a more balanced life.
I do not like to see people in pain or going in circles; that is one of the reasons this blog was created… to help as many people as possible gain the answers from within in order to move forward, creating their greatest life ever!!
Now I need your help! I need your help in gaining a greater insight into where people are and what they need in their lives in order for it to be the very best it can be. To accomplish that I would like to invite you to participate in a short survey. As a “thank you” for your time and your input I will be placing the first 100 people who respond into a drawing for four complimentary coaching sessions.
The winner of the drawing will be contacted May 1st via e-mail.
Thank you for making a difference!!
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: By participating, rest assured that your first name and e-mail address will NOT be sold or shared with anyone!!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Have you ever been in a situation where someone asked you what you did and you were at a loss for words? OR Have you ever shared what you do, but shared it in small voice, as if you were afraid to share? (Not because you hate what you do, but because you don’t feel confident about conveying it to others.)
This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart …not only because I have struggled with it myself, but also because this very topic came up recently in a marketing and practice building teleclass I have been teaching.
During class, as we were going around the group sharing what we do, I noticed that many of the participants would share with an apologetic tone…as if they were sorry for the amazing things they do. How they were sharing was not unusual, but rather common. It happens when you are not sure how to describe what you do in a way that is compelling and understandable.
So how do you eliminate the apologetic tone? How do you find the right words to say? How do you share with confidence?
Here are just a few suggestions…
1) We have all heard of an elevator speech, that 10-20 second blurb that people use when describing what they do…well, I encourage you to develop a passion statement instead.
A passion statement is a statement that comes from the heart. When you speak from your heart, not only do you come from a genuine place, but you also share with a level of enthusiasm that is hard to ignore.
2) Get really clear on what you do, why you do it, how you do it, and why what you do is important. (What needs and concerns do you address by doing what you do?)
3) Practice sharing your passion statement with others and ask them what they heard. Gaining feedback is important! The feedback will help you to gauge your level of energy when sharing and the clarity of your message.
4) Develop a fun one-liner. (This great tip comes from the book, Getting Business to Come to You) For example, when people ask me what I do, rather than just tell them that I am a personal and business development coach I say... "I am a talking compass. I help people who have lost direction in their personal and/or professional lives, find that direction.”
5) Have fun and play with your words and remember you do not have to memorize a little schpeel. With a foundation (your passion statement) what you say can and does change depending on circumstance, but the message will always be consistent.
If you have any questions or need some assistance, please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Imagine having more energy or more time to focus on the things you really want. Imagine being able to move forward in your life without some of your current stress. Doesn’t that sound good?
We all have things in our life that we just put up with or tolerate, for example, a cluttered desk, a messy closet, a squeaky door, a sloppy significant other or child, even STRESS. While the tolerations may not seem to be a big deal on the surface…don’t be fooled, they are!
Tolerations drain us of valuable energy. They prevent us from moving forward. They are a distraction and they waste time, time that could be spent on something proactive and productive.
What are you tolerating and how are those tolerations serving you?
There is no better time then the present to become free of draining tolerations!! Here is an exercise that will help you get a handle on those things that are draining you...
1) Make a list of all the things you feel you are currently tolerating.
2) Once you have your list in hand, go over it and look for the pivotal tolerations. A pivotal toleration, when removed, removes other tolerations with it.
3) Look at what is causing your tolerations and be sure to remove the cause or the root of the toleration. (A toleration is like a weed, if you do not remove the root, the toleration will just return.)
4) If your toleration list feels overwhelming, again first look for all the pivotal tolerations, transferring three or four to a new list. Breaking your list down into bite-sized pieces will help it become more manageable and less overwhelming.
I would also like to offer you a bit of personal support. If you are not sure where to start in pinpointing your tolerations or you need support in developing an action plan to remove your tolerations, please e-mail me. I will be more than happy to provide you with a free 30 minute coaching session to help identify and take action against those tolerations that are draining you.
Energy-filled living here we come!
Until next time, be well …
Saturday, March 25, 2006
(Warning: This is just my opinion regarding a topic that is important to me so I apologize in advance for the little soap box rant. Please feel free to share your own opinions and thoughts.)
Whether you are male or female, wealthy or just making ends meet, black or white, overweight or underweight, short or tall...someone in a crowd, at a party, in your office has probably already developed an opinion about you without really getting to know you. If you have NEVER had that misfortune then you are lucky!
I think some of the most powerful words that I have ever heard were spoken by Dr. Martin Luther King; "I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
Sadly, we are no where near that day and sadly people’s prejudices, perceptions and even sometimes ignorance stand in the way of us being a kinder, gentler world -- one where a man or woman is truly seen and embraced for their character (the person they are) and not because of the $250 pair of shoes that they wear or don’t wear.
I am a firm believer that people are not born with a prejudicial eye. This is something that is taught (even inadvertently) or gained through the influence of others. If everyone, everywhere made a deliberate effort not to pre-judge a person based on appearance, but rather took the time to get to know someone…what a more loving, productive, and open-minded world this would be.
What do you think?
Sunday, March 19, 2006
When was the last time you caught a snowflake on your tongue or let snowflakes coat your eyelashes? Sound like fun?
Last weekend I was up at my favorite coffee house when it began to snow and snow hard. It was an amazing and welcomed event...until last weekend we had not seen any sign of moisture for 143 days and where I live in Arizona, snow is rare.
Not only was the snow a beautiful sight to see, but what was even more beautiful was watching 30 adults (myself included) darting in and out of the snow…catching snowflakes on our tongues and on our eyelashes, giggling and laughing like little children. The result was energizing and uplifting!!
It was then that I was reminded of how important it is to stay in touch with our child sides. (You know the part of each if us that loves to do silly things and enjoys being playful.) We all have the capability to be child-like and it is more than OK to embrace that side of yourself, letting it come out and play. Heck, it is what keeps us young and helps us to recharge our batteries.
So, can you come out and play?
I challenge you to…
have a snowball fight or make a snow angel (if you have snow)…
turn some cartwheels…
sit on the floor and play jacks…
skip down the sidewalk…
sing and dance in the middle of your living room…
spin in circles until you get dizzy
Whatever you choose to do, have fun, re-energize, because you deserve it!! Oh, and one more thing, try and make a play date with yourself on a regular basis. I promise you, you will be glad you did.
Until next time, be well and have fun…
Saturday, March 11, 2006
I wanted to share a link that a Make the Most of U subscriber sent to me (thank you, Susan!). While I know the worthwhile event this project was holding has come and gone, the problem still exists and support is needed.
Sexual harassment is never OK, prank or not! Help take a stand and raise awareness because sexual harassment is a global issue.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
A very dear person and colleague is doing some amazing work around the issue of weight loss. I have had chance to witness some of her inspiring work and wish to share this FREE resource with you.
From Mahalene's website:
Do you wish you could let go of the overweight story?
Does the word "diet" make you want to cry?
Do you dream that, one day, Prince Charming will kiss you, and wake you up from the nightmare of trying so hard and never succeeding to permanently lose weight?
Are you ready for a tasted, I mean "tested", and different approach that will set you free?
If so, this magical movie is here to inspire you in taking yourself "lightly" and fly, free of the weight of shame, free of the weight of blame, free from dieting, free to live YOUR dream!
(Thank you, Mahalene for sharing!)
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I know this may sound silly, but for the longest time I have been side-stepping posting an entry about coaching. Why? Not because I am ashamed of coaching or embarrassed to say that I am a coach… quite to the contrary!!
Coaching is an amazing profession and I really love what I do. My reasoning…because I was fearful that the entry would appear a “shameless plug” on a site that’s purpose is to support and motivate others.
Never did it occur to me that by sharing a bit about coaching it might actually also provide support and motivation. It was not until recently when I received an e-mail from a reader (asking what coaching is) that the light bulb went on and I realized how important it is to share…
Imagine having a safe and comfortable space to share your dreams, goals, thoughts, worries, and obstacles. Then imagine having someone focus solely on YOU; where you are in your life and where you wish to be…supporting YOU in finding the means to get from where you are to where you wish to be. Sound good?
- A process of personal growth and discovery
- A collaborative and supportive partnership that helps you to overcome obstacles and accomplish goals
- A confidential, honest, trusting, and safe relationship
- A catalyst in developing strategies for forward movement
- All about YOU and never about the coach
Coaching Is Not…
- Critical or judgmental
A Coach …
- Holds you accountable
- Listens to you fully
- Asks you powerful questions
- Empowers you to move forward
- Helps you knock down walls and remove any obstacles that are standing in your way.
- Develops a roadmap with you so that you can get from where you are to where you wish to be.
In my personal and humble opinion, coaching is amazing...not just as a process, but as a career. It has changed lives and it has certainly changed mine.
If you or someone you know has a question about coaching, please feel free to post right here or e-mail me.
Until next time, please be well…
Saturday, February 25, 2006
What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can. - Henry David Thoreau
Has there ever been a time when you really wanted to do something, but you stopped yourself because others told you it was not possible? If you answered “yes”, please consider these questions…What was the worst thing that could have happened if you had tried? OR What could you have possibly lost by trying?
In all actuality, you have more to gain by trying then you do by not trying. Think about it.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
This past week I was up at my favorite coffee house taking a bit of a break and grabbing a cup of coffee. One of my favorite regulars was there, a 77- year-old artist who has worlds of experience and amazing spirit. To make a long story short, we got to talking about all the diverse things he has done in his life. Let me tell you, his experience is astounding… he has taken on projects in different fields that many would shy away from because of the sheer magnitude.
From his stories about his experiences one thing was perfectly clear…he never worried about how (or if ) he was going to get a job done. He would tell you that the reason was because he believed, he believed in himself and his ability to make things happen. Listening to him was awe-inspiring!
Earlier in the week a dear friend and fellow coach shared some amazing insight regarding beliefs, as we were discussing limiting beliefs. To paraphrase what she shared…beliefs all have a pay off attached to them, and that pay off can be either negative or positive. If they did not have a pay off, we would not hang on to them.
The two discussions encouraged me to take a look at my own beliefs, especially the limiting ones. They made me realize just how powerful beliefs are and what a large role they play in what we do.
So for this week, my wish for you is to take a look at your beliefs, especially the ones that may be limiting, (i.e. the “I could never do that, because I do not have…” beliefs). To help you do so, on a piece of paper draw a line down the middle and at the top of one column write, “Positive Beliefs” and for the other column write, “Negative/Limiting Beliefs”. Then begin to list all the beliefs that serve you positively and all the beliefs that may hold you back. Just free write and do not edit yourself. There is NO right or wrong in this exercise.
After listing all your beliefs take a look at the positive beliefs. How do those make you feel when reading them? Do they make you feel empowered? Proud?
Now take a look at the negative/limiting beliefs. How do those beliefs make you feel? Do you feel scared? Frustrated? Ashamed?
Then take out another piece of paper and pick one or two limiting beliefs and re-write them with a positive slant, one that evokes the feelings you experienced when you read your positive belief list. Once you have done that, think of no less than three actions that you can do that will help you to fully utilize and validate that new belief. (Thank you, Cassi for the powerful suggestion.)
Give it a whirl. You have nothing to lose (with the exception of some limiting beliefs ::::grin::::) and everything to gain.
Until next time, please be well…
Saturday, February 11, 2006
This is a discussion and topic that has been coming up a lot lately…at least it seems that way anyway. So what’s the difference between an intention and a goal? Aren’t they one in the same?
Not really, but they are related and intertwined with one another. I like to think of an intention as the bigger picture…the whole enchilada, if you will. With measurable goals as the filling of that enchilada (keeping with the analogy <g>) that makes that enchilada complete. Basically, with every intention there are goals that serve as our stepping stones to fulfilling that intention.
Let me give you a personal example…
My intention is to help change the world in a positive way one person at a time. Some of my goals to achieving that intention are:
1) Reaching out to as many people as I can as often as I can.
2) Continuing to build a loving and supportive coaching practice.
3) Broadening my knowledge and experience.
Now, comes the really fun part, creating measurable action items for each goal… the things that I can and will do in order to accomplish my goals. Let’s take #3 as an example… in order to achieve this goal (which is one that is continuous) I entered into a Masters program, I am continuing to expand my coach training, hired my own coach, I read all sorts of books, as well as listen and learn from others. I am always seeking opportunities to enhance and improve my coaching skills, which in turn helps me with goals 1 & 2.
If this sounds like a lot of work, I won’t lie…it is, but I have truly found that anything that is REALLY worth it is worth all the work and effort…especially when it comes to intentions.
So, what are some of your intentions and the goals you will use to fulfill those intentions? Please feel free to share them here. If you get stuck and need some support, don’t hesitate to reach out, as I am happy to help.
Until next time, please be well…