Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Plugging Into That High Voltage Energy

I don't know about you, but all the negativity surrounding the current state of affairs (i.e. the economy and the election) is enough to drive me bonkers and become a real energy drain. Yesterday was the first day in a really long time that I felt the heaviness to the degree where I wanted to throw up my hands and scream, "Screw it (OK, so I was thinking of something a bit more colorful, but this is a family show), I'm done!" (Not done as in ending it all, just done with all the crap.) Instead of running down the street screaming like a banji I decided it was time to get the ol' energy flowing on high again.

When times are tough and feel heavy beyond measure, one of the worst things we can do is to tap into the negativity. Tapping into the negativity is not only a real energy drain, but it supports the creation of more negativity. So during those times it is important to unplug from the negative charge and plug into some high voltage energy. I know, I know, it's easier said then done, but I promise you it is possible (and I don't make promises lightly, my friends.)

Case in point; yesterday when the heaviness was creeping in, I did a few things that helped to lighten the mood and increase my energy (not necessarily in the following order);

1) I didn't try and stuff my feelings in the bottom of my sock drawer. I felt them through, said "hello" to them and acknowledged their presence.
2) I got present and out of the land of the "what ifs" (which is located in the future). I did so by taking stock of the things surrounding me, reminding myself that in that present moment I was a-OK.
3) I played some music.
4) I rested when I needed to.
5) I spoke with a dear friend and had some good laughs. (Thank you, Jon.)
6) I avoided negative and heavy conversations.
7) I listened to some more music (my son's marching band) while sitting outside, enjoying the nice fall weather. The breeze blowing in my face and through my hair, watching my son, and the fun music was a great pick me up.
8) I wrote and got some important thoughts down in my journal.
9) I hugged my son (multiple times).
10) I watched some comedy and laughed some more.

My dear friends, it is time to unplug from all the negative and plug into some of the good stuff. What brings you joy? What lifts you up? What gives you a positive charge? When you feel the energy draining and your mood going South stop and tap into the things that make you laugh, that spur feelings of love, that pull you into the present moment. There is nothing like plugging into some high voltage fun to get your energy levels up; charging with positive energy is better than charging with negative energy any day of the week.

Posted by Pam at 12:58:00 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (2)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Go Big or Go Home Question: Embrace Your Inner Goofball

(Many thanks to my friend Michelle, not just because she is a fellow goofball, but because she inspired me to write this. )

I am sure you have all heard the phrases, "Life is too short" and "Live a little". Those are phrases I am all too familar with, as I have been accused of (and rightfully so) of being far too serious. As a matter of fact, my best friend recently said to someone else, "I have helped Pam to loosen up." You know, I didn't realize I was uptight until I participated in some good ol' fashion reflection. Yes, I will admit it, I used to be a little too serious, a little too analytical, a little too tightly wound; "used to be" being the operative phrase.

What I have found, it is a-ok (more than a-ok, actually) to embrace my inner goofball, to cut loose and have some fun! The world does not stop rotating on it's axis when I make funny faces. The men in white jackets have not come to cart me away to a padded cell when I crank up my music and dance around the house. (What usually happens is my son starts to laugh and shake his head, but I can deal with that.) You wanna know what really happens when I get silly with my bad self?

I laugh more.
I don't get as stressed.
I certainly don't sweat the small stuff.
I have more fun.
I attract more of the good stuff.

So, my friends, the Go Big or Go Home Question to you is, what will you do starting today to embrace your inner goofball?

Come on, get silly with me! You know you want to.

Posted by Pam at 4:14:03 PM in Go Big Or Go Home Questions (15) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Hostage NO More

Today's the day when we work on releasing ourselves from other people's thoughts and perceptions. Yep, that's right!

Let me explain by sharing a little story....

During my coach training (many moons ago) I was sitting in class with a group of my colleagues where the topic of conversation was about what other people think of us. The room was an absolute buzz, almost chaotic; it was clear that we were all very much hooked by the fear of what other people thought of us as people and as coaches. All of the sudden, the faculty leader softly said, "It's none of your business what other people think of you." The room fell silent and then this internal dialogue began to play in my head;

"What!?"
"What do you mean it's none of my business what other people think of me?"
"Ummm...I have made it my business my entire life."

:::::Enter the cosmic 2x4, whacking Pam upside the head::::

It was at that moment that I had one of the hugest "a-ha moments" of my life. I was living my life as a hostage to other people's thoughts. I was not moving forward as quickly because I was scared to death of what other people might think of me. It then occurred to me (in DUH-Like fashion -- visualize me slapping my forehead) that I have absolutely no control over what other people think. The only control I have is over me, how I show up, and how I choose to respond to other people.

End of story...

So my friends I will say this to you, if you struggle with the same fear of what other people think of you it really is none of your business... and I will add, but it is your business what you think of you!!

It is my request that you consider ways to increase your own perception of you (if you haven't done so already). What do you need to support you in building up your own self worth and confidence in who you are?

Have a great weekend!!

Posted by Pam at 3:01:36 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (2)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Beating the Hard Times With a Positively Smashing 2x4

For those of you who know me, you know that I am not much into with a metaphoric . One of the only purposes (IMHO) a metaphoric 2x4 serves is to inflict further injury or self deprecation. HOWEVER, I have found a more positive purpose for the 2x4; use it to smack the living daylights out of negativity during what might be considered hard times. Let's face it folks, you and I both know that we could easily become bloody pulps, as there is so much negativity in the air right now (particularly the news), not to mention fear and desperation.

So my dear readers and friends, I would like to encourage you try some of the following positive 2x4 swinging techniques to beat the crap out of any negativity that may be looming (and to protect yourself):

1. Smile big and smile often. There is this great quote, "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to." I did that all day yesterday, every where I went I just smiled. It was great to see the looks and even get smiles back.
2. Cop that attitude of gratitude. If you are feeling on the verge of negativity, stop whatever it is you are doing and start thanking the Universe for all the good that's surrounding you, everything you have in your life right now that is awesome and positive. ("Thank you for my health" OR "I am so grateful for my family and friends.")
3. Bury your head in the sand. No, I'm not talking about avoiding reality. What I am talking about is choosing the news to read and watch wisely. Getting caught up in all the garbage and subjecting yourself to a constant barage of dark news is not going to help raise your energy level or keep you positive. So keep the negative news to a minimum.
4. Avoid negative conversations. As an example, at the gym people were talking (or complaining) about the so rather than engage, I chose to disengage and involve myself in another conversation. Just like with your news, choose your conversations wisely. Try to engage in conversations that give you energy rather than take it away.
5. Come from a place of love and peace. Just because others might be rude or even inconsiderate (read; cut you off in traffic, exhibit signs of "it's all about me" syndrome, etc.) that doesn't mean you have to follow suit. Try doing the exact opposite, i.e. let someone merge in front of you in traffic, ask another person how they are and really mean it; you might be surprised by the outcome and how it makes you feel.
6. Keep breathing! When negativity is bearing down we often forget to keep breathing; our breathing becomes shallow and faster. Try breathing in and out deeply three times.
7. Acknowledge someone sincerely for something they did or because of who they are. Not only will the act of acknowledging put a smile on someone's face or make them stand up straighter, but it will support your efforts to remain in a positive frame of mind.
8. Have fun and laugh a lot. Need I say more?

Lets not let what is happening in our world today bring us down. Join me in swinging that 2x4 not at ourselves, but at the negativity. Ready? On your mark, get set, swing!

Posted by Pam at 6:30:40 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Your Well-Being Can't Be Found in a Pouch of Instant

We live in a world where instant gratification and instant results seems to be a theme; instant (or near instant) weight loss, instant meals, instant answers, you name it. What happened to taking some things slowly, putting in the effort, and exploring? Please don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing the "instant" industry or anyone who partakes in it; sometimes I like to get instant results too, however, what I have come to realize, instant answers are not always the right answers especially when it comes to our emotional and mental well-being.

Why aren't instant answers the way to go?

Sometimes those instant answers only deal with the symptoms, providing us with temporary relief. Think about it, in order to kill a weed for good you have to get to the roots, or the source. If you just pull the weed and leave the roots, guess what? The weed comes back. The same holds true with the issues that often rear their heads on the emotional and mental well-being front. Getting to the source of any issue, whether it is fear, limiting beliefs or tolerations sometimes takes time, but most importantly it takes awareness as to what is causing those issues.

Awareness really is key and if we are zooming along trying to find that "quick fix" we may miss out on the signs that lead to the awareness we need in order to find the long-lasting answers. So the next time you're in the mood for a "quick fix" to one of life's more complex issues, please take the time to ask yourself the following, "Would I benefit more from temporary relief or long-term relief?"

Please never discount the fact that you are worth making the effort. Take time to explore and look for the source rather than grab for the "latest and greatest" instant solution. Leave the instant to coffee, tea, and even fast food, but not your mental and emotional well-being.

Posted by Pam at 2:06:39 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Happy Positive Thinking Day!!

Yes, that's right today is . This wonderful day was created by with the intention to raise the positive vibes in the world. When you have an opportunity, please wander on over to the website and find out how you can support and participant in this wonderful initiative.

I, for one, am a firm believer in the power of postive thinking. Why? Because...

  • It boosts my mood
  • Shifts my energy
  • Helps me to shake off the negatives so I can witness and participate in the positives
  • I move forward and see greater opportunities when I am feeling upbeat and positive
  • There is less drama and stress in my life

Just a few of the many benefits I receive when I remove the stinkin' thinkin' and replace it with a positive attitude. Oh, and here is something else really interesting about the power of positive thinking; the brain does not have the capability to think both positive and negative thoughts at the same time. Kinda cool, huh?

In honor of today I would like to encourage you to participate in at least one positive thinking activity. Here are just a few ideas to get the ball rolling:

1) Find a really rockin' that boosts you up. (Oh, and if you purchase an affirmation today from not only will you be raising your energy, but 30% of your purchase price will be donated to the
2) Practice an attitude of gratitude; stop whatever you are doing and find things to be grateful for.
3) Smile and say "hello" to the people you pass today.
4) Call a friend and tell them how much you appreciate them and their friendship.

Whatever you decide to do, have fun and again, Happy Positive Thinking Day to all of you!! Together we can raise the positive energy.

Posted by Pam at 3:18:50 PM in Ask Pam (5) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, September 07, 2008

What Do YOU Choose?

My friends, let me ask you something, do you find that you sometimes take on someone else's...

...bad mood?
...insecurities?
...anger?
...hatred?
...fear?

If you answered "yes" to any of the options it may be time to take stock in the energy that you are sharing with the world. Remember, my friends, as harsh as this may sound like attracts like. If you are a fan of the you will recall that our own energy levels (vibrations) attract similar energy levels (vibrations). Which means that if you are thinking and feeling negatively, there is a good chance that more negative vibes will come your way. Sounds pretty rotten doesn't it?

Well, guess what? There is good news!

The good news is, you have a choice. You can choice the energy level you wish to operate from and you can choose not  to allow others' emotional messes to become your mess. I was reminded of this last night as I was reading the awesome book Feel It Real!: A Guided Approach to Bringing the Law of Attraction into Your Life .

In the book the author shares a powerful story about a man full of hatred who traveled to see Buddha. When he met Buddha, rather than share kindness and love, he chose to curse, swear, and call Buddha names. Never once did Buddha fall prey to the man's hateful behavior. Seeing that his behavior was having no impact upon Buddha, the hateful man grew weary. Buddha turned to the man and asked him, "If a man brings me a gift and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?" The man responded by saying that the gift belonged to the gift giver. To which Buddha replied, "Then if you come to me with a gift of hatred and I refuse to accept it, to whom does the hatred belong?" With that the man realized that his hatred only belonged to him and no one else.

So the next time you find yourself taking on someone else's mess, ask yourself the following,

"Do I choose to accept or refuse this gift?"
                   and
"Do I choose to come from a place of love and positivity or a place of sadness and negativity?"

From awareness comes choice. The choice really is YOURS!

Posted by Pam at 10:50:02 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Monday, September 01, 2008

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"I should ..."
"I would have ..."
"I could have ..."

Does the beginning of those three sentences sound familiar?
Let me flesh them out a bit more in case you don't recognize them.

"I should lose weight."
"I would have lost weight a long time ago if only I had the will power."
"I could have lost weight if I had the money to join a gym."

What do you think now?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret; they are really familiar to me, like an old pair of shoes two sizes too small. I used to shoulda, woulda, coulda all over myself all the time when it came to goals and intentions. As a matter of fact, I still catch myself doing so every once in awhile. When it comes to goals and intentions, believe it or not, the shoulda, woulda, couldas serve a valuable purpose; they are great little indicators as to how important what we are trying to achieve is to us personally. Yep, that's right, they are our own little pocket gauges but sadly we don't use them as such. We often use them as the proverbial 2x4 upside the head. OUCH! A means to make us feel wronged or worse, feel like failures.

So I'd like to ask you to do me a HUGE favor right here, right now (it's a three part favor, by the way). The first part of the favor is to step away from the 2x4, put it away, shred it in the wood shredder, burn it on a bonfire. Do whatever you need to do, just get rid of it. The next thing I would like to request is that you become aware of your shoulda, woulda, coulda vernacular. And the last part of the favor is, if you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing all over yourself, please ask yourself one of the following questions;

- "On a scale of 1-10 (one being a low score) how important is this goal to me?"

If your response is a 5 or less, please be honest with yourself, how likely are you to carry out whatever it is you are shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing yourself over? Things that score low on the importance scale also score low on the priority scale and are more likely to be placed on the backburner, in the back of the closet, or stuffed in the back of our minds.

- "Is this something I wish to do or something someone said I should do?"

Let's face it, when we are trying to accomplish a goal that is someone else's and not our own, we are less likely to see it through to fruition. Why? Because it's not ours. It is not in alignment with who we are and our core values.

- "How will this serve me in being my best self?"

If your answer is,"It won't" then please reconsider your reasonings for trying to take action on a goal that will not serve you.

Here is to using the shoulda, woulda, couldas as goal setting success tools, (as opposed to the opposite) until you don't need them anymore.

Posted by Pam at 4:56:37 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Go Big or Go Home Question: Fear, Friend or Foe

Fear (to me) was the boogey man under the bed, the one feeling that would stop me right in my tracks, the gut twisting, gut wrenching emotion that had the strongest vise grip in the whole world... until just recently. I was working with a client when it hit me like a 2x4 in the middle of the eyes; why not treat fear like an old friend that we are out growing? Instead of , which only makes it scream back louder, why not think of the good things we can take away from it; the lessons learned or awareness created?

So here's your Go Big or Go Home question; consider one fear that you have and ask yourself, "What's at least one good thing I can take away from this fear?"

Once you have done that (and this may sound silly, but it helps) write your fear a little letter thanking it for the positive take away. In that letter be sure to let your fear know that you are releasing it and moving on from it. Once you have completed your letter you are then free to burn it, shred it, flush it down the toilet, whatever action is going to help you let go of it.

I think you will be surprised at the results.

Happy Fear Releasing!

Posted by Pam at 1:07:27 PM in Go Big Or Go Home Questions (15) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

What Does It Take? A Healthy Relationship Meter

Relationships are funny little creatures and in taking stock of some of my own I have discovered something; in order to have healthy relationships (friendship, romantic, business) the following things should be present (for me); they make up my healthy relationship meter:

1) The ability and space to be who you are. If you have to be someone you're not, that creates room for games, feelings of disconnect with one's own self (the "Who Am I Being? Syndrome"), hurt, embarrassment, and possibly the loss of integrity.

Some signs to look out for: Saying and doing things that you would not normally say and do, a feeling of uneasiness, always questioning yourself in the relationship.

How genuine is the relationship going to be out of the gate if either person is showing up as someone they're not?

2) Room to grow and the support to do so; no shackles or tethers. As we go through life we learn and as a result we grow. Growth is a good thing!

Some signs to look out for: Criticism and put-downs from the other person, especially during times of growth and positive change. Increased signs of insecurity from your partner and the need for continual reassurance that they are OK in your eyes.

3) No emotional games allowed. There is never a winner in an emotional game.

Some signs to look out for: Emotional blackmail ("If you loved me you would..."), a constant push and pull (pushing you away and then pulling you in when a distance has been created).

4) Equal balance of give and take. When there is an imbalance one person always walks away feeling depleted, used, or unimportant.

Some signs to look out for: Your partner, friend, or colleague spends most of their time focusing on themselves in almost every conversation (self obsessed or self absorbed behavior); one person is putting in most of the effort to make the relationship work. Having to constantly hold your partner/friend/colleague upright emotionally. Feeling completely drained after a conversation.

5) Direct and open communication. No person is a mind-reader so it is important to be able to constructively communicate wants, dislikes, expectations, etc.

Some signs to look out for: An applied assumption that you should always know what your partner/friend/colleague wants, increased resentment, and frustration.

6) Mutual respect. Without mutual respect lines get crossed and feelings get hurt.

Some signs to look out for: The crossing of personal boundaries, exhibiting behavior that is belittling, embarrassing, and at the expense of the other person.

Healthy relationships take two people who are equally committed to the relationship and being the best they can be. So what's your meter for determining whether you are engaging in healthy relationships?

Posted by Pam at 6:09:45 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Monday, August 11, 2008

Transition Rut

Hello,

I am 25, single and feel like i am stuck in a rut. Not too long ago I completed my 6 yr military contract, civilian now. Trying to recover from a broken heart as well. Anger, betrayal, resentment, cynicism and more. Everything seems and feels like a mess. Relationships, career, finance, education, Health (gained 40lbs). Not meeting my parents expectations. Feeling like a failure at everything. Single, looking for job, trying to finish college, and broke. I want to be able to help my family financially.
My parents and family keep saying i should have a degree by now. I should be successful. Why am i single? Pretty much all my friends and family of my age are either married or have kids or in a committed long term relationship. I am trying to be optimistic that all things happens in time and do my best. But i feel like a complete failure at everything. I am having social anxiety as well and find myself daydreaming to escape. Just frustrated. Some seem to have it all.
Music helps me feel better. I have mood swings of happiness throughout the day and most likely its a battle within mind but i feel lost. I want to be happy and stop feeling like i am not good enough. Somehow my optimism fades. I do try to be optimistic and hopeful.
I recently moved from CA to MA all alone. I feel alone and everything is new at once. I feel like i think too much, over analyze everything and think about my ex all the time. He just somehow creeps in my thoughts. Am i being silly?
I am a shy person and i have a habit of doing everything on my own, be independent and not inconvenience anyone unless absolute necessary. My friends call me drama free and sweet.
How can i get out of this rut? I tried meditating to control my thoughts and thinking but mind just wanders. And more towards negativity about me. Either I am not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, enough personality, fun enough; just ordinary and boring. Aarrrrgghhh I read the "20-something 20-everything" book. Tedious in my opinion. Is it a weird phase?
I know people out there have more problems and mine is minute compared to them but i need something. I want to live each day to fullest no matter what. Enjoy being me; its one life to live right. Don't know how!!! Do I worry too much? Do I take things seriously too much?
Any words of wisdom?
R.P.

Dear R.P.

First I wish to commend you for sharing all that you have done and your desire to want to move forward. You are a very courageous young woman.

I appreciate all the changes you have gone through; with change comes transition, and with transition often comes uncertainty and fear. I want to let you know that the stuck feeling and even the negative feelings you are experiencing are natural. I know they are uncomfortable, but I can assure you, you are not weird, nor are you a failure, or silly in any way. With that said, I would like to make a request (of course you are welcome disregard any request or thoughts shared); please try and go easy on yourself right now. Swinging a 2x4 at your head isn't going to serve you and will also not support you in moving forward. If anything, beating yourself up will only compound the feelings. I have a few suggestions that I would like to offer to combat the negative thoughts and feelings, as well as to help you move past the feeling of being in a rut:

1) It is very easy to go down the path of comparison, comparing yourself to other family members and friends. However, you are not your family nor are you your friends, you are you. Who YOU are is a gift and someone to acknowledge and embrace (even though I know it may not feel that way right now.) I would like to ask that you find one great thing about yourself, i.e. your independence, your sweetness, or your ability to avoid drama, and focus on that.
2) When you start to feel fear, anger, pain, or any other negative thought or emotion try practicing a little gratitude. Place your hand over your heart, begin breathing deeply and list five things in the here and the now that you are most grateful for. That could be the shirt on your back, the sun coming through the window, the chair you are sitting in. The brain, in all its glory and splendor, does not have the capacity to think both positive and negative thoughts at the same time. Copping an attitude of gratitude will not only help you be in the present moment (where all the good stuff appears), but it will help to shift your energy and mood.
3) You had mentioned that others have expectations for you, what about your own expectations for yourself? When we live our life for others, we are not living a life for ourselves and according to what is in alignment with who we are. I would like to suggest doing a little exercise (courtesy of James Arthur Ray) to help create some clarity around the things you want for YOU in your life. Please take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. On the left hand side of the paper write down all the things you don't want in your life. Then on the right hand side of the paper write down the exact opposite of what you wrote on the left side; the things that you do want. Pick at least one thing from the right side and start taking action around that one thing.
4) Get to know you. What lights a fire for you? When was the last time you had a lot of fun? What was it you were doing? What was it about the things that you were doing that created the fun for you? Chances are you will learn a bit more about the wonderful person you are just by answering those questions.
5) Last, but not least, in regards to the relationship that ended, I would like to ask that you list at least five good things that you can take away from your experience that will serve you in the future. By looking at the positives that will certainly support you in letting go and moving forward.

Please know, R.P. you are enough, more than enough and you always have been. Again, I wish to thank you for reaching out and for sharing! I wish you all the very best.

Posted by Pam at 5:54:10 PM in Ask Pam (5) | Permalink | Comments (1)

Monday, July 28, 2008

Go Big Or Go Home Question: Strong Sense of Self

When I was pregnant with my son one of the things I said most often was, "If I can give him anything, I hope to give him a good sense of self." I meant that with all my heart and soul. I did not wish for him to ever struggle with his sense of self like I did. (Although having said that, what I experienced I would experience again, as it made me the person I am today.)

So the Go Big or Go Home Question is; how do you define strong sense of self and how does one achieve it? (OK, so that was two questions rolled into one.)

I look forward to your thoughts.

Posted by Pam at 11:05:15 PM in Go Big Or Go Home Questions (15) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Ask and You Will Receive

Every once in a while I get a major brain cramp which leads to writer’s block. Today was no exception. As I sat here with my cup of coffee in hand asking myself, "OK, what do I want to write about?", nothing came to mind. Then I remembered, I have these beautiful created by and when I am lacking creative juices it sometimes helps to pull a .

The first card I pulled was the Pray card and as I read the description of the card I thought, "What wisdom could I possibly share about praying?" So I pulled another card; the Call on Your Angels card. Hmmm, are you detecting a bit of a theme here?

All the sudden I go from no idea to two ideas in the pull of the card (or cards); I could either write about paying attention to themes that present themselves or I could write about asking for guidance. Then it dawned on me, "Duh, Pam…you were asking for inspiration and you were given an answer."

I don't think I was actually meant to focus on the real meaning of the cards, but the bigger message; when you are at a loss, when you are lacking direction, or answers are evading you, ask a question from your heart to whatever deity or source you look to for support (God, Buddha, your guardian angels, spirit guides, an intuitive, the Universe...) then let it go, be present and patient, and see what appears.

Sometimes the answers come instantly (like in my case today – thank you!), while other times the answers come in due time and when you least expect it. Just know and have faith that all heartfelt questions do receive answers, so ask and you will receive.

Posted by Pam at 3:03:18 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

What is Your Heart Telling You?

When it comes to the things we really want but are afraid of, we often seek the counsel of our heads. We often listen to that little voice that says things like, "You could never do that!" "Oh my, what if you fail? Or What if you succeed, then you will have to keep it up." We listen to that voice until we find reason to not move forward with the things we want. While it is not always a bad thing to listen to our heads, in doing so we sometimes neglect what is truly in our hearts. For it’s in our hearts, that’s where the good stuff resides. Our hearts hold the answers and the support we need, we just have to have faith and we just have to listen.

So I dare you to listen to your heart, what is it saying to you?

Is it telling you to be bold?

Is it telling you to love like you have never loved before?

Is it telling you that you rock and are totally amazing?

Be still and listen.

I'm almost saddened by thought of where I might be today if I had not listened to my own heart and believed in its wisdom; chances are I would still be in a marriage that was not working for either of us. I might even still be playing it safe in a career that didn't suit me, working for someone else and not following my own dreams. I may still be hiding in the shadows afraid to share my real self with the world, fearful that the real me would not be accepted.

I'm glad I have taken chances. I am glad I have listened to my heart and I am thrilled with the results. So the next time you really want something, but are afraid to take the leap, ask your heart and listen carefully to what it tells you. You won't be sorry.

Posted by Pam at 10:29:46 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Silence is Golden

Silence is a beautiful thing. Silence provides us with a break from all the buzz. It affords us some breathing space. It can be a sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day. As a coach, I have found it to be one of the most powerful coaching tools in my coaching toolbox; when you use silence you give the other person the time and the space to reflect on the question/comment before responding. Silence is truly golden and something I don’t think we take advantage of enough.

It is my wish that you give yourself the gift of silence for just 10 minutes a day. Find some place to sit quietly, take some deep breathes, and just relax. Let your mind go where it needs to go. Oh, and if you want to try something really fun, try asking yourself a question and then go silent. See what happens, as you might be pleasantly surprised.



Have fun soaking in the silence. Peace and quiet be with you all!

Posted by Pam at 4:37:58 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (3)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Don't Forget

Forgiving is not about forgetting the old story. It's about giving a chance to write a new story - Quote from the book , by

Most recently I came to the tough realization that I was still holding on to some past hurt from my childhood. Heck, I am 41 years old, but there was a part of me that was still hurting over things said to me when I was a young child and a teenager. Reliving those past memories not only hurt, but I began to feel powerless all over again, which resulted in anger.

Here is some food for thought; holding on to anger or resentment from past hurts only holds us back and prevents us from fully moving forward. Think about it, how can we truly move forward if part of us is still sitting smack dab in the middle of a past hurt?

In order to fully move forward, to be a part of my own here and now, I decided to “write a new story”. I have not forgotten the things that hurt, but instead I asked myself the following question, “What did I learn and what positives did I take away from this situation?”

Focusing on what I learned and the positives not only helped me to shift my energy from negative to positive, but I regained my personal power. I am no longer that little girl or that teenager who felt small and insignificant. I can now embrace the me that I am right now; a woman who is not a quitter and who is willing to fight for what's most important to her.

So let me ask you this, how will you write your story? What's one thing you wish to “unhook” from emotionally, one thing from your past that causes you pain? I wish to encourage to think of ways to write a new story so that pain is no longer drawing you back. Think of the things (at least one thing) you gained from the experience. It could be that you learned how you don't wish to be or how you don't ever wish to treat another person. It could be that you gained strength from the experience. Believe it or not, out of all bad/painful experiences there is some good to be had. Here's to not forgetting, but forgiving and letting go.

Posted by Pam at 6:09:54 PM in Creating Change (95) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Go Big Or Go Home Question: What Will YOU Say?

I noticed a few times this week that when I was presented with some cool opportunities resistance stuck a foot in them....more like my self saboteur, actually. She came out in full force with her little power suit, high heels, hands on hips, saying loudly, "Who are you kidding? You can't do this!"

Truth be told I actually have two self saboteurs; one I call my dream squasher (the one I just described). My dream squasher is the one who sticks her heels in the concepts of big opportunities and dreams, trying desperately to let the air out of them. She does this so I don't have to be successful.

My other self saboteur is a little girl. Why a little girl? Well, at eight years of age that is when I received the message that I was not good enough and did not deserve good things. That message manifested into a ; fear of losing anything that was important to me because I was not deserving. So when something is really important to me she will come out to remind me that the more important things I have, the more I have to lose.

The one thing I have found, the more I fight either one the louder and stronger they get. Think of a child throwing a tantrum; have you ever noticed that the less attention you give a child throwing a fit the louder they become? Same notion applies here.

Rather than fighting my self saboteurs, rather than telling them to "shut up, sit down, and leave me alone", I say, "It's OK. It's all going to be a-ok. I promise. I have everything handled and you are going to be OK." Seems to do the trick every time, because in all actuality (like children) all self saboteurs really want is to be told that everything is going to be OK; that they're really OK (that WE'RE really OK).

Now for the Go Big Go Home Question... The next time your self saboteur rears it's head, what will you say to it? What will you do to comfort it rather than fight it?

(**image courtesy of www.carsonvalleyvitality.com)

Posted by Pam at 2:35:01 PM in Go Big Or Go Home Questions (15) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Sharing Some Much Deserved Props

It pleases me to no-end to announce the launch of a great new blog, The VA Voice. You know me, I am certainly in support of finding ways to make life better and easier (as well as providing you with some great resources) and that is what my dear friend offers, not only with her (VA) practice, but now with her blog. Whether you are looking for sound and practical ideas on marketing, interesting insights on techie tools, ways to improve your business, or just a great blog to connect with some talented folks do pop on over to The VA Voice.

Congratulations, MJ on a job well done and continuing to make a HUGE difference!

Posted by Pam at 2:42:17 PM in Making a Difference (5) | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Go Big or Go Home Questions: Kicking Fear in the Backside

I once heard fear described like this:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Is it false evidence that appears real? Is it something we make up in our heads? Yes, sometimes it is. Sometimes we use as a means to hide behind. Sometimes it is our best friend keeping us out of harms way. Sometimes it is our worst enemy standing in our way of going after what we want or stepping into our own greatness.

One of the keys to kicking fear in the backside is awareness so let's create some awareness right here and now with these Go Big or Go Home questions. (Wait, before you ponder the questions asked I want you to think of a fear that follows you around, one that comes up often.)

What is that fear keeping you from?
What is one thing you would be willing to do (starting today) to kick that fear in the backside?

And now for a shameless plug :::sheepish grin:::...
If you are wishing to kick fear in the backside once and for all, please join me starting July 10th for the where we will take a good hard look at fear and ways to remove it. Spaces are limited and time is running out for the early bird discount. It is my sincerest wish to support you in erradicating fear so you can have all that you desire.

Posted by Pam at 2:45:55 PM in Go Big Or Go Home Questions (15) | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, May 26, 2008

You are Beautiful!

What worth has beauty if it is not seen? - Italian Proverb

There is not one person on this planet who does not possess a great beauty. I truly believe that in my heart. We all have the capacity to share and show our beauty; sometimes we choose to hide it away. Sometimes we mask it in fear that our beauty is not good enough or as wonderful as someone elses.

When we compare ourselves to others, when we self deprecate, when we don’t share our true amazing selves, we are depreciating our own beauty, devaluing its worth and our own. We are depriving ourselves of the chance to share something really incredible with the world and in turn we are depriving ourselves of opportunities for growth and potentials.

My friends, it does not matter if you are bone thin, over weight, have a small nose or a big nose, hips that are too small or too big, you are beautiful. You possess a beauty that no one else does and that makes you incredible and unique.

I encourage you to come out from hiding, to stop the self deprecation, to cease the comparisons. When you feel the urge to do any of the things mentioned, please stop yourself and please find one positive thing about YOU that you can share with the world in that very moment. Maybe you have a killer smile, so stop and smile at someone. Maybe you give incredible hugs, so stop and hug someone. Embrace your beauty, you may be utterly surprised at what happens when you do.

Posted by Pam at 6:52:19 PM in Quotes with Impact (30) | Permalink | Comments (0)