Monday, July 28, 2008
When I was pregnant with my son one of the things I said most often was, "If I can give him anything, I hope to give him a good sense of self." I meant that with all my heart and soul. I did not wish for him to ever struggle with his sense of self like I did. (Although having said that, what I experienced I would experience again, as it made me the person I am today.)
So the Go Big or Go Home Question is; how do you define strong sense of self and how does one achieve it? (OK, so that was two questions rolled into one.)
I look forward to your thoughts.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Every once in a while I get a major brain cramp which leads to writer’s block. Today was no exception. As I sat here with my cup of coffee in hand asking myself, "OK, what do I want to write about?", nothing came to mind. Then I remembered, I have these beautiful cards created by Sonia Choquette and when I am lacking creative juices it sometimes helps to pull a card.
The first card I pulled was the Pray card and as I read the description of the card I thought, "What wisdom could I possibly share about praying?" So I pulled another card; the Call on Your Angels card. Hmmm, are you detecting a bit of a theme here?
All the sudden I go from no idea to two ideas in the pull of the card (or cards); I could either write about paying attention to themes that present themselves or I could write about asking for guidance. Then it dawned on me, "Duh, Pam…you were asking for inspiration and you were given an answer."
I don't think I was actually meant to focus on the real meaning of the cards, but the bigger message; when you are at a loss, when you are lacking direction, or answers are evading you, ask a question from your heart to whatever deity or source you look to for support (God, Buddha, your guardian angels, spirit guides, an intuitive, the Universe...) then let it go, be present and patient, and see what appears.
Sometimes the answers come instantly (like in my case today – thank you!), while other times the answers come in due time and when you least expect it. Just know and have faith that all heartfelt questions do receive answers, so ask and you will receive.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
When it comes to the things we really want but are afraid of, we often seek the counsel of our heads. We often listen to that little voice that says things like, "You could never do that!" "Oh my, what if you fail? Or What if you succeed, then you will have to keep it up." We listen to that voice until we find reason to not move forward with the things we want. While it is not always a bad thing to listen to our heads, in doing so we sometimes neglect what is truly in our hearts. For it’s in our hearts, that’s where the good stuff resides. Our hearts hold the answers and the support we need, we just have to have faith and we just have to listen.
So I dare you to listen to your heart, what is it saying to you?
Is it telling you to be bold?
Is it telling you to love like you have never loved before?
Is it telling you that you rock and are totally amazing?
Be still and listen.
I'm almost saddened by thought of where I might be today if I had not listened to my own heart and believed in its wisdom; chances are I would still be in a marriage that was not working for either of us. I might even still be playing it safe in a career that didn't suit me, working for someone else and not following my own dreams. I may still be hiding in the shadows afraid to share my real self with the world, fearful that the real me would not be accepted.
I'm glad I have taken chances. I am glad I have listened to my heart and I am thrilled with the results. So the next time you really want something, but are afraid to take the leap, ask your heart and listen carefully to what it tells you. You won't be sorry.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Silence is a beautiful thing. Silence provides us with a break from all the buzz. It affords us some breathing space. It can be a sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day. As a coach, I have found it to be one of the most powerful coaching tools in my coaching toolbox; when you use silence you give the other person the time and the space to reflect on the question/comment before responding. Silence is truly golden and something I don’t think we take advantage of enough.
It is my wish that you give yourself the gift of silence for just 10 minutes a day. Find some place to sit quietly, take some deep breathes, and just relax. Let your mind go where it needs to go. Oh, and if you want to try something really fun, try asking yourself a question and then go silent. See what happens, as you might be pleasantly surprised.
Have fun soaking in the silence. Peace and quiet be with you all!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Forgiving is not about forgetting the old story. It's about giving a chance to write a new story - Quote from the book “Cinderella on the Couch”, by Chris Linnares.
Most recently I came to the tough realization that I was still holding on to some past hurt from my childhood. Heck, I am 41 years old, but there was a part of me that was still hurting over things said to me when I was a young child and a teenager. Reliving those past memories not only hurt, but I began to feel powerless all over again, which resulted in anger.
Here is some food for thought; holding on to anger or resentment from past hurts only holds us back and prevents us from fully moving forward. Think about it, how can we truly move forward if part of us is still sitting smack dab in the middle of a past hurt?
In order to fully move forward, to be a part of my own here and now, I decided to “write a new story”. I have not forgotten the things that hurt, but instead I asked myself the following question, “What did I learn and what positives did I take away from this situation?”
Focusing on what I learned and the positives not only helped me to shift my energy from negative to positive, but I regained my personal power. I am no longer that little girl or that teenager who felt small and insignificant. I can now embrace the me that I am right now; a woman who is not a quitter and who is willing to fight for what's most important to her.
So let me ask you this, how will you write your story? What's one thing you wish to “unhook” from emotionally, one thing from your past that causes you pain? I wish to encourage to think of ways to write a new story so that pain is no longer drawing you back. Think of the things (at least one thing) you gained from the experience. It could be that you learned how you don't wish to be or how you don't ever wish to treat another person. It could be that you gained strength from the experience. Believe it or not, out of all bad/painful experiences there is some good to be had. Here's to not forgetting, but forgiving and letting go.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I noticed a few times this week that when I was presented with some cool opportunities resistance stuck a foot in them....more like my self saboteur, actually. She came out in full force with her little power suit, high heels, hands on hips, saying loudly, "Who are you kidding? You can't do this!"
Truth be told I actually have two self saboteurs; one I call my dream squasher (the one I just described). My dream squasher is the one who sticks her heels in the concepts of big opportunities and dreams, trying desperately to let the air out of them. She does this so I don't have to be successful.
My other self saboteur is a little girl. Why a little girl? Well, at eight years of age that is when I received the message that I was not good enough and did not deserve good things. That message manifested into a fear of loss; fear of losing anything that was important to me because I was not deserving. So when something is really important to me she will come out to remind me that the more important things I have, the more I have to lose.
The one thing I have found, the more I fight either one the louder and stronger they get. Think of a child throwing a tantrum; have you ever noticed that the less attention you give a child throwing a fit the louder they become? Same notion applies here.
Rather than fighting my self saboteurs, rather than telling them to "shut up, sit down, and leave me alone", I say, "It's OK. It's all going to be a-ok. I promise. I have everything handled and you are going to be OK." Seems to do the trick every time, because in all actuality (like children) all self saboteurs really want is to be told that everything is going to be OK; that they're really OK (that WE'RE really OK).
Now for the Go Big Go Home Question... The next time your self saboteur rears it's head, what will you say to it? What will you do to comfort it rather than fight it?
(**image courtesy of www.carsonvalleyvitality.com)
Saturday, June 07, 2008
It pleases me to no-end to announce the launch of a great new blog, The VA Voice. You know me, I am certainly in support of finding ways to make life better and easier (as well as providing you with some great resources) and that is what my dear friend Michelle offers, not only with her virtual assistance (VA) practice, but now with her blog. Whether you are looking for sound and practical ideas on marketing, interesting insights on techie tools, ways to improve your business, or just a great blog to connect with some talented folks do pop on over to The VA Voice.
Congratulations, MJ on a job well done and continuing to make a HUGE difference!
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I once heard fear described like this:
Is it false evidence that appears real? Is it something we make up in our heads? Yes, sometimes it is. Sometimes we use as a means to hide behind. Sometimes it is our best friend keeping us out of harms way. Sometimes it is our worst enemy standing in our way of going after what we want or stepping into our own greatness.
One of the keys to kicking fear in the backside is awareness so let's create some awareness right here and now with these Go Big or Go Home questions. (Wait, before you ponder the questions asked I want you to think of a fear that follows you around, one that comes up often.)
What is that fear keeping you from?
What is one thing you would be willing to do (starting today) to kick that fear in the backside?
And now for a shameless plug :::sheepish grin:::...
If you are wishing to kick fear in the backside once and for all, please join me starting July 10th for the Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward Group Coaching Program where we will take a good hard look at fear and ways to remove it. Spaces are limited and time is running out for the early bird discount. It is my sincerest wish to support you in erradicating fear so you can have all that you desire.
Monday, May 26, 2008
What worth has beauty if it is not seen? - Italian Proverb
There is not one person on this planet who does not possess a great beauty. I truly believe that in my heart. We all have the capacity to share and show our beauty; sometimes we choose to hide it away. Sometimes we mask it in fear that our beauty is not good enough or as wonderful as someone elses.
When we compare ourselves to others, when we self deprecate, when we don’t share our true amazing selves, we are depreciating our own beauty, devaluing its worth and our own. We are depriving ourselves of the chance to share something really incredible with the world and in turn we are depriving ourselves of opportunities for growth and potentials.
My friends, it does not matter if you are bone thin, over weight, have a small nose or a big nose, hips that are too small or too big, you are beautiful. You possess a beauty that no one else does and that makes you incredible and unique.
I encourage you to come out from hiding, to stop the self deprecation, to cease the comparisons. When you feel the urge to do any of the things mentioned, please stop yourself and please find one positive thing about YOU that you can share with the world in that very moment. Maybe you have a killer smile, so stop and smile at someone. Maybe you give incredible hugs, so stop and hug someone. Embrace your beauty, you may be utterly surprised at what happens when you do.
Monday, May 19, 2008
You know what they say, laughter is often the best medicine. If you are experiencing some Monday blues, have a gander at this...
SIDE EFFECT WARNING: Severe laughter may cause side aches.
Monday, May 12, 2008
In the United States July is the month to celebrate independence. While folks may be celebrating a country's independence, I would like to mark July as the start to breaking free from the following:
The feeling of being stuck
Lack of passion and purpose
...to name just a few things that hold us back and keep us from reaching our fullest potential; living a life that we desire and deserve.
It is my wish that each one of you experiences the freedom to be who you truly are so you can have what you really want. It is my desire and goal to support you in doing just that, being the real you and doing and having things that are in integrity with who you truly are.
Please join me starting July 10, 2008 for a four month intensive based upon the e-workbooks Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward. I am opening up this group coaching program to ONLY 10 people so if you are interested in:
1) Knowing what makes you tick
2) Attracting what you really want in your life
3) Letting go of any fears that are keeping you from living your life to the fullest
4) Eradicating any tolerations that are weighing you down
5) Finding your passion and purpose; claiming it once and for all
6) Gaining the power to be who you want to be, do what you want to do and have what you want to have
7) Learning how to create sticky intentions
contact me to set up your introductory interview call. Here is to creating individual independence by getting to the core of who you truly are!
Please contact me to set up a brief interview. Participants will receive the following:
- Two, one hour group coaching sessions per month via phone
- One, 45 minute individual coaching session per month via phone
- A monthly buddy call with another participant in the program
- The e-workbook series Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward
- Access to a private online area where you can interact with other group participants in between calls
Some benefits for participating...
*Group support and encouragement
*Connection with liked-minded people.
*Safe, confidential space to share and grow
*When you strengthen your inner self, stress and tolerations are dramatically reduced
*Changes from the inside out
*More peace and balance
*Awareness and clarity around who you are and what you want
The program schedule is as follows:
July 10th: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
July 17th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of July 21st: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of July 28th: Buddy calls
August 7th: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
August 14th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of August 18th: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of August 25th: Buddy calls
September 4th: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
September 11th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of September 15th: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of September 22nd: Buddy calls
October 2nd: First Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
October 9th: Second Group Coaching Call @ 9pm ET, 8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT
Week of October 13th: Individual Coaching Call (scheduled individually)
Week of October 20th: Buddy calls
The regular cost for this program is $660 USD ($165 per month), however, I wish to offer this entire program to 10 people for $165 USD ( which is the equivalent of three free months of group and individual coaching.) In addition, if you sign up by June 20th, you will receive 20% off the $165.
Space is limited so
Sunday, May 11, 2008
(Many thanks to my sister, Wendy for sending the following to me, which I believe was written by David J Pollay. Some awesome food for thought.)
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... 'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'
Attitude and holding on to our power are wonderful things, aren't they?
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Dear Blog Readers,
I wish to thank you for visiting and reading Make the Most of U. I am extremely grateful for the visits, comments, and contributions. Next month will be Make the Most of U's third birthday so its time to shake things up a bit! In order to do that, I would like the chance to get to know YOU a bit better; I want to know what makes you tick, what your heart says to you, what your values are, and what's most important to you!
First, because I truly do care about what you think and who you are. Second, I want to continue to provide content that resonants with who, what you are experiencing, and what you are wishing to create for yourselves. So with that, the Go Big or Go Home Question is....
If I was your fairygod coach and with a wave of my magic wand could grant your heart's desire, what three wishes would you make and why?
I look forward to your responses. Here's to you and to making the most of you and who you are!
Monday, April 21, 2008
While most may have one Achilles Heel, I seem to have two.
Does having two make me any more special than anyone else? Certainly not! Does it make me more deserving of praise and accolades? “Oh, check Pam out, she has not one, but two Achilles Heels. Isn't she cool?” Nope! Don't think so.
So what does it make me? Human! It makes me human.
And while I have two, there is one in particular that bothers me most; it's dried, cracked, sometimes hurts, itches like hell, and thus far has evaded “remedy”.
My major Achilles Heel is the fear of losing the things that are most important to me.
So when I am feeling the fear of loss in the form of negative thoughts, I try and replace those thoughts with more positive ones. While that often provides temporary relief, temporary is no longer good enough! A long-term cure is what I'm after.
In searching for that cure I asked the following question (err..questions) “Why do I fear loss and what can I do to remove it?”
The remedy/answer did not come right away. As a matter of fact, it waited a day and came during a coaching session with a client. The answer was, “We have a tendency to hang on for dear life to things that are most important. In hanging on in a white-knuckled fashion, we cloud the good aspects of those things and minimize our ability to enjoy them. Have faith; faith in yourself and faith that all that is important will remain as long as you believe in those things. Be grateful for them, be present, and trust.”
Now it's your turn, dear readers and fellow bloggers, what's your Achilles Heel(s)? What are you willing to do to ease the cracking and itch?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
"I don't live in a soap opera so I don't choose to be a part of one."
I am not going to spoil this wonderful quote from my 13 year old son with a huge explanation. I will just say, wise words to ponder, dontcha think?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I just realized that I have not asked a “Go Big or Go Home Question” in some time so here is a doozy for you; one that I am actually exploring myself. Beware, it's a two parter.
Who or what do I need to be to create a peaceful and grounded life? What am I willing to do to achieve peace and become more grounded and peaceful?
(Oh, and since I never ask a question, that I am not willing to answer myself, feel free to hop on over to Walking My Own Walk.)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The hardest thing often to relinquish is being in the driver’s seat (in control). Let’s face it, it’s difficult not to have control, especially over events or even people (yep, people) who are important to us. Why? Because we have to be reliant on something or someone else to help create the desired outcome we are after…to help get us to where we want to go.
Two weeks ago I shared with all of you how I became vulnerable by putting my deep personal feelings out there. This was a wonderful and tough thing to do; it was wonderful to let the other person know just how much I love and care for him, but at the same time it was difficult to get out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger seat. (To this day, I still have to practice letting go of the outcome.)
You see, the only things I had control over in this situation were my own feelings and how I chose to share them. I did not have control over how my feelings would be received and the response I would ultimately get. Now, it is a matter of being the best person I can be to myself and this person, letting go of the outcome, and having faith (all things I have control over) that what is meant to be, will.
I’ll admit, it’s tough to let go of the wheel and at the same time it is so easy to fall prey to trying to force or push things along. Yep, been there, done that; trying to force the outcome produced results far from what I really wanted. In the long run it wasn’t worth it.
So what’s a person to do?
First things first, it helps to distinguish what you truly have control over in the current situation. If it helps, ask yourself the following questions, “What do I have control over?” and “What don’t I have control over?” Getting clear and creating awareness around when you are in the driver’s seat and when you are in the passenger’s seat is half the battle.
Of the things you have control over make a commitment to execute them in a constructive fashion; meaning knowing when to put on the gas and knowing when to ease off a bit and just coast. Remember, it’s a fine balance; gunning the gas pedal is not always the best option. Sometimes you have to drive as if you are “Driving Miss Daisy”, slowly, steadily, and reliably.
Now it’s your turn. When was the last time you forced your way into the driver’s seat? What happened? What happened the last time you sat back, were completely present, and enjoyed the ride?
(Image courtesy of www.pedalcar.com)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
In my very humble opinion vulnerability gets a bad rap. By its own definition it is in and of itself vulnerable to negative connotations. It’s often equated to being REALLY exposed and susceptible to major hurt. While that is true, there is a positive flip-side to being vulnerable.
I think I am hearing a collective, “What? What could possibly be the positive flip-side to being vulnerable?”
OK guys, this is just my opinion and based on my own personal experience; being vulnerable is being human. It is sharing my truest feelings, the ones that come from heart. It is sharing ME fully, the good and not so good. It is an opportunity for growth, deeper relationships, and realness. It is NOT in any way a means to becoming a doormat. No way! I get to choose when, where, and the people I am vulnerable with. Let me give you an example…
Just recently I shared some very deep, personal feelings with a VERY special person. I was real, I was open, and I was vulnerable as hell. (Not to mention scared to bits.) Yes, I was exposed and susceptible to hurt, but that was the chance I CHOSE to take. Why? Because I knew that if I was not willing to be a bit vulnerable and willing to put myself out there I would NEVER know the potential possibilities available. All I would know was the feelings I had deep inside and the “what ifs” attached to not sharing.
Basically, I felt I had more to gain than I did to lose by being vulnerable. Whatever the outcome I was being true to me, being true to my feelings, and my own integrity and that is NEVER a bad thing. Oh, and guess what? The outcome was not negative. Quite to the contrary, it was wonderful!! I gained in so many ways, more than I could have EVER imagined.
So here’s to coming out from behind the safety of the shadows and letting the truest, realest person shine through. Next time you are afraid to be a bit vulnerable, please ask yourself the following, “Do I have more to gain or more to lose by being me and sharing who I really am with the world?”
Peace, Love, and Light to all of you!!
P.S. In the spirit of being vulnerable I am asking for your help. It is my goal in the next two weeks to gain 100 subscribers to the Weekly Messages of YOUR Heart so together we can tune into our own hearts and really make a huge difference. If you or someone you know wants to dig a bit deeper, have a bit more fun each week, and learn something really cool about you, please consider subscribing. It is of no cost to you other than some time. Please help me to make my goal, and in turn help make this world a more loving and fun place for all. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
I will never, not in one million years, profess that I have all the answers. I don’t and I am sure I would be safe in saying that most of us probably feel that way. I do know one thing; my heart has the answers that are right for me. I have found, especially over the last few years, that if I follow my heart I never go wrong. My heart holds all the cool stuff, all the great information just as long as I am willing to be present, listen, and take action.
So wouldn’t it be cool to get little reminders from your heart each week; little reminders that not only motivate and inspire, but support you in taking action? If you answered “yes”, please consider subscribing to Weekly Messages from Your Heart. (It will cost you absolutely nothing except a few minutes of your time each week to read and ponder the message.)
Your heart truly does know best. If you don't believe me, ask it a question and give a listen.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
As many of you know, I am all about removing tolerations; those things that begin to way you down, take up space, become mind clutter. Tolerations are a pain in the posterior, plain and simple…particularly computer related tolerations.
Since I have already written about how to remove tolerations I promise this post is not going to be a rehash. However, I would like to offer all of you a fantastic potential solution for your technical woes. Dear friend and fellow blogger, Phil Gerbyshak shares a great way for YOU to gain free technical support for the next few weeks. Check out what’s on offer – the time to remove your technical tolerations is certainly now!!