Monday, June 01, 2009
"Some people grumble because roses have thorns; I am thankful that the thorns have roses." Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr
The older I get the more I've come to believe that from every difficult situation comes some good if we choose to look for that good. Of course it is never fun to be faced with a negative challenge. Pain and heartache aren't a thrill and great sadness does not feel good either, however, if we can look for the positive or the learning in every situation, particularly the difficult ones, we not only grow but we come out on the other side much stronger and less bruised.
So my dear friends, the next time you are faced with a difficult or even painful situation try asking yourself this question, "What am I meant to learn from this?"
Don't fret if the answer doesn't come right away, just have faith that it will and faith that whatever lies behind the difficulties there is some amazing jewel to be discovered. A jewel that you can hold on to and keep for future use.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Having a positive attitude is like looking at the world through clean glasses. If you have spots on those glasses, it's harder to see the good in front of you. - PT
Despite all the doom and gloom surroudings us in the media, I still believe in my heart of hearts that we can create positives. We can shift our attitudes (with some effort and persistence). We can make things better and see the good. We can, I know we can.
I want you to imagine for just one moment what it would be like or what it would feel like if all that surrounded you was positive; positive people, uplifting news, smiles and laughter, fun opportunities, exciting adventures, good music, love, etc. How would you feel? What would you see?
My dear friends, despite what the media is telling us, despite what we may be hearing at the office or around town, there are positives to be had. There really are and now is the time to choose. Do you wish to look at the world through clean or spotted glasses? What do you choose and what will you do to support your choice?
Here is what I choose to do:
2) Give hugs
3) Share appreciation for another person
4) Say "thank you"
6) Be grateful for everything I have
7) Share for as long as is needed and with no expectations.
8) Steer clear of gossip and negative conversations.
9) Keep me energy levels up by listening to some fun music, recharging my battery whenever necessary, and having fun.
10) Send love and positive energy out into the world.
Join me, please!? Together we can create a way to see the good.
Monday, May 26, 2008
What worth has beauty if it is not seen? - Italian Proverb
There is not one person on this planet who does not possess a great beauty. I truly believe that in my heart. We all have the capacity to share and show our beauty; sometimes we choose to hide it away. Sometimes we mask it in fear that our beauty is not good enough or as wonderful as someone elses.
When we compare ourselves to others, when we self deprecate, when we don’t share our true amazing selves, we are depreciating our own beauty, devaluing its worth and our own. We are depriving ourselves of the chance to share something really incredible with the world and in turn we are depriving ourselves of opportunities for growth and potentials.
My friends, it does not matter if you are bone thin, over weight, have a small nose or a big nose, hips that are too small or too big, you are beautiful. You possess a beauty that no one else does and that makes you incredible and unique.
I encourage you to come out from hiding, to stop the self deprecation, to cease the comparisons. When you feel the urge to do any of the things mentioned, please stop yourself and please find one positive thing about YOU that you can share with the world in that very moment. Maybe you have a killer smile, so stop and smile at someone. Maybe you give incredible hugs, so stop and hug someone. Embrace your beauty, you may be utterly surprised at what happens when you do.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
(Many thanks to my sister, Wendy for sending the following to me, which I believe was written by David J Pollay. Some awesome food for thought.)
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... 'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'
Attitude and holding on to our power are wonderful things, aren't they?
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Behind every dark happening, behind every difficulty, there is a hidden blessing. - White Eagle (courtesy of Your Spiritual Home).
Every situation and experience, good or bad has some positive take-away if we choose to look for it. Yep, I kid you not, it’s true. We have in front of us the opportunity to grow and learn even in the face of adversity. So my challenge to you is this; the next time you are faced with a negative situation ask yourself, “What’s one good thing I can take away from this experience?” The answer may be rather surprising.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Sometimes it is all too easy to blame what goes wrong in our lives on past events and people rather than take responsibility as the sole creator of our own reality.
I raise my hand and admit that I used to blame whatever went wrong in my world on my family, the way I was raised, and the experiences I had growing up. As a matter of fact, when something would go wrong I would say something along the lines of, “If only my mom…” or “If only my dad…” It was not until I was hit upside the head by a 2x4 that I realized how much I used the past as a pair of cement boots to hold me back.
That 2x4 looked something like this, “Pam, are you an adult?” “Yes”, was my answer. “Then when are YOU going to start taking responsibility for you and your own actions?”
I was reminded of that 2x4 just this past week when faced with some issues from the past. Rather then put on those cements boots, I took the opportunity to learn. I realized that my past has taught me some very valuable lessons… Lessons that I am grateful for and use as forward moving running shoes rather than a pair of cement boots.
Rather than look for all that was wrong, why not look for the positives?
Rather than complain about what was lacking, why not look at all the things to be grateful for?
Rather than focus on shortcomings of others, why not look for strengths?
Isn’t it time to walk or run unencumbered?
Sunday, March 25, 2007
That Eleanor Roosevelt was one smart cookie, I tell ya. While there are loads of amazing quotes from her, that one is one of the best.
Now I will raise my hand and freely admit that I still have to practice being present. There are times when a slip into the past, revisit past situations and relive old feelings. (OUCH!) While that is not always a bad thing, (especially if the past situations revisited are positive), I know that dancing in the moment is pretty important.
The present equates to...
Many amazing possibilities. When we are in the here and now we become more aware of all the good things that surround us. We can see potential opportunities. The "how" to our intentions becomes clearer.
Fear removed. Fear does not reside in the present, just in the future and the past. Think about it.
The present is perfect. Hint: take a look around. I bet there are five things in the here and now that you can be grateful for.
Focus. When we are present our focus on the tasks at hand is clearer. We see the detail and have a better understanding of how to move forward.
If those few reasons did not convince you of the importance of being present, how about trying this one on for size?
Life DOES NOT pass you by. When you are present you get to take advantage of every moment in life. Nothing passes by you...not the silly, not the important, not the lessons to be learned, nor the fun to be had.
So here is the challenge if you choose to accept it. When you find yourself drifting out of the present moment, take some deep breathes, take a good look around, and try to focus on YOU in the here and now.
Until next time, enjoy the gift of today…
P.S. You are cordially invited to check out the latest addition to Make the Most of U.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
What a yummy quote! It’s so easy to get stuck in the “gotta have more and then I’ll be happy” syndrome. Here’s a new challenge, focus on who you wish/need to be in order to have more of the good stuff and less of the not so good stuff.
For example, if you want to change your outlook your “Be” formula may look something like this…
Be a person who has an attitude of gratitude + Do practice gratitude (i.e. create gratitude journal) = Have a feeling and/or awareness of abundance in your life/positive outlook.
Outcome: Being in a place of gratitude helps us attract more of the same.
If you would like less fear in your life, how about…
Be present + Do take three deep breathes = Have less fear or a calmer state of mind.
Outcome: Less fear and greater presence opens up our awareness to amazing potentials.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
This wonderful nugget arrived in my inbox from The Daily Guru and serves as a great reminder!
I encourage you, the next time you find yourself staring adversity in the eye, look for the good...for that gold.
Just like poop, even the worst experience serves a purpose.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
We are all amazing individuals with so much to offer the world and ourselves. The sad thing is we often do not allow our true selves to come out and play. Why? There are several reasons and to name a few…
1) We come from a place of fear that “who” we truly are is not going to mesh with the world around us.
2) We feel and project lack; what we have to offer is never going to be enough.
3) We do not have enough trust and faith in ourselves.
4) We are not really sure who we are or what we want.
In addressing these reasons, here are just a few suggestions to ponder…
It is important to live life for you and to honor what lies within you. Too many times we get caught in the trap of living life for others because we are afraid…afraid of being alone, of rocking the boat, of being viewed as selfish…etc. Take stock of the people and activities in your life. Do they support who you are and how you wish to show up in the world?
In addition, we sometimes focus far too much on what others think which takes away our power to honor ourselves. Remember, we have no control over what others think, only what we think of ourselves.
Since sometimes we focus on the deficits of our own character in such a negative, defeatist way, it is important to try and focus a) on our surplus; what we have to offer and b) turning any perceived deficits into positive opportunity for growth. For example, thinking of ways in which you can learn from the feelings of lack…exploring what you know to be the truth around the lack you feel.
Pay attention to what Esther, Jerry, and Abraham Hicks refer to as your Emotional Guidance System (EGS). If something that you are doing, being, thinking or saying does not match what you intrinsically want (at your core) or match who you are, your EGS will tell you either through resistance or bad feelings. As you continue to rely on your EGS and shift your thoughts and actions based on your feelings (creating more favorable situations), your trust and faith in yourself will strengthen. Trust is like a muscle, the more you use it the more you strengthen it.
Think about the last time you did something that made you “sing and dance” internally. What was it about the activity that made you feel so good? How was that activity connected to you?
It is also helpful to talk about what is going on inside of you!! In talking you often gain insight and clarity to what truly lies within you.
If any of these suggestions are unclear or you wish for some support, PLEASE contact me!! Just remember, what lies within you is magnificent and it is my wish that you explore and embrace that magnificence.
Until next time, please be well and enjoy you and all that you have to offer…
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Whether you think you can or you can't, you are right" - Henry Ford
What we think impacts what we feel and that in turn impacts what we do (or what we attract). Think about it.. when was the last time you knew that you could do something and do it well? What was the feeling attached to that thought? Was it a feeling of determination? Empowerment? Strength? I'll bet you dollars to donuts that whatever you thought you could do, you did and you did it well.
Many years ago my father, while attending a Tony Robbins conference, had the chance to walk across hot coals. (Please do not try this at home.) This wasn't something my father had ever done, however he managed to walk across successfully. He attributes his getting across the hot bed of rocks (without blistered feet) to his belief that he could do it.
We hear stories of athletes who visualize themselves winning and who do win. We have heard about people overcoming illness by changing the way they think. A coincidence? Luck? Perhaps, but after all I have seen, experienced, learned, and read, I truly believe not.
My wish for you is to believe that you have the ability to think and feel your way to greatness..to attract amazing things and wonderous opportunities. One of the major keys is believing in you, believing you can do and have whatever you desire...and when the negative thoughts rear their heads, (as they may) challenge them! Ask yourself this question, "What do I choose?" Do you choose to believe that you can't? OR Do you choose to believe that YOU CAN?
Sunday, October 15, 2006
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson
For just one moment in the here and the now I wish for you to imagine a world where there is only light. Imagine a world where everyone feels confident in their own abilities, passions, purposes, (insert appropriate word here), to cast aside doubt and fear and truly be all they are meant to be. What would it feel like to live in such a world?
Some may think a world like that is pie in the sky, unrealistic, impossible... and honestly, that is OK. For every one person who feels that way there is another that truly believes that by shining their own light, they do help to lighten the world.
If you are one that wants to spark a change, one who wants to find that lightness but has yet to do so, I ask you this...what do you need in order to let your brilliant light shine through?
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.- Thich Nhat Hanh
As a coach it has always been important to me to not just "talk the talk" but to be able to "walk the walk". That means the important things I learn and everything I coach my own clients around must be put to use and at some point mastered.
SIDE NOTE: I have been told often that the universe continues to place things in our path until we master them. Guess what? It's true.
The universe decided to pick this morning to place a "present moment" situation in my path. (Clearly, being in the present moment is something I have to work on a bit more.) To make a VERY long story short, I am working on my Masters and am required to complete a thesis in order to graduate. It was my full intention to have everything finished for a September graduation, but sometimes things just happen and we have to find a different route. My different route now includes graduating in November, which is cool with me because I have more time to ensure my thesis is stellar. Even with the extra time (at 2am) I went from dead sleep to panic mode thinking about my thesis and worrying about the process. (OK, OK, I was projecting worry onto the future..I get that!)
The skinny...I had to practice what I preach and focus on being present. Sure I could have "should" all over myself ("I should have done this..." "I should have done that..."), but that wasn't going to change the past or make me feel better. Yep, I could have plopped myself down in the future and turned myself inside out with the "what if?" questions ("What if the committee takes too long in approving?" "What if defense does not get scheduled in time?") Are you following me here? Instead, I took a few deep breathes, acknowledged that the present was perfect, expressed some gratitude for my nice warm bed, my fluffy pillow,etc. and went back to sleep.
So here is some food for thought...
Being present protects us from being completely consumed by worry. It's hard to worry when you are looking at all the cool things surrounding you in the right here and the right now. (Operative word: "cool") When we are fully present we get to unearth some new discoveries, discoveries that may have been hidden by past or future thoughts. In the present we can gain some great clarity around our intentions because we have the freedom to focus. Oh, and this is an awesome one...in the present we get to choose. Think about it, have you ever tried to make a choice in the past or the future? Doesn't work too well. Oh, and here's one to remember, we can start breathing again. (Yep, when you are riddled with worry or anxiety breathing becomes shallow.)
So which do you choose? The past? The present? The future? I know what I choose...no more 2am wake up calls!
Sunday, July 23, 2006
As you may recall from last week’s entry I suggested that you share at least three things you are grateful for to help raise your energy level. Well, I have an admission to make…
For quite some time now I have been practicing a gratitude exercise where every morning (before my feet hit the floor) and every night (before drifting off to sleep) I share five things I am grateful for. (This is not the admission, however. <grin>
This past Thursday I did not participate in my gratitude exercise. Instead I dashed out of bed and jumped straight into my day. Sadly, things that could go wrong did go wrong from the very start. To put it bluntly…my day sucked!! What’s even worse, two really great things happened in my day and I completely dismissed them…just cast them aside.
I have to tell you, I have not had a day like that in a VERY long time.
What my experience impressed upon me is how important it really is to “be in attitude of gratitude”. When we come from a place of gratitude we are open and receptive to the positives. We just go with the flow… where even the bumps that appear in our paths are manageable.
I invite you to give it a whirl yourself! For the next month practice having an “attitude of gratitude”...you can say or write what you are grateful for...whatever works best for you.
Have fun and as always please feel free to share your questions and comments right here. :)
Sunday, July 02, 2006
I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters. - Oprah Winfrey
To me the definition of joy is a multi-faceted one which includes both internal and external experiences. For example, spending time with my son being silly brings me great joy (external). Feeling positive and at peace also brings me joy (internal). So in essence, one of my many definitions of joy is the ability to see and choose to experience the good and to be my authentic self.
How do you define joy?
I invite you to think of all the things, both internal and external, that provide you with joy. Capitalize on those things and enjoy living in joy!
Monday, June 26, 2006
I love this empowering quote because it captures what is really important…loving yourself. There is no one on this earth like you!! You are unique; you possess special traits, wonderful qualities, and amazing skills like no other.
My wish for you is to see the beauty that you possess, to embrace the amazing assets you have rather than focusing on the negative. For example, if you feel your arms are too small or too flabby, instead of focusing on the negatives, what would it feel like if you were to say to yourself, “These wonderful arms provide me with the ability to _______.” (hug my children, do my wonderful work, get dressed with ease)?
Please know that this has nothing to do with being conceited or boastful. This has everything to do with you creating good feelings about you for you! Don’t delay; a beautiful love affair with a fabulous person is yours for the taking. Give it a go and see what happens.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
When we are capable of living in the moment free from the tyranny of "shoulds," free from the nagging sensation that this moment isn't right, we will have peaceful hearts. - Joan Borysenko
I love this quote – it serves as a wonderful reminder that what we have is right now. We cannot do anything about the past (with the exception of learn from it) as it has already happened. We cannot do anything about the future because it has yet to come. We can do something about this present moment.
Worrying about tomorrow and what has yet to happen only takes away from focusing on the here and now and the wonderful opportunities that are presenting themselves.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
We don’t attract what we want, we attract what we are. - Author Unknown
I have been thinking a lot about that quote which hangs on the white board in my office. It was passed along to me by my own coach. To me, it is a very powerful reminder of how important it is to be the best person possible …To be genuine, honest, in integrity, loving, caring, and generous.
What are you attracting? Are you attracting and manifesting the things that you really want in your life?
Saturday, February 25, 2006
What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can. - Henry David Thoreau
Has there ever been a time when you really wanted to do something, but you stopped yourself because others told you it was not possible? If you answered “yes”, please consider these questions…What was the worst thing that could have happened if you had tried? OR What could you have possibly lost by trying?
In all actuality, you have more to gain by trying then you do by not trying. Think about it.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor RooseveltOf all the quotes that I love and have shared, this is the one that is the most powerful for me. It is taped on my computer screen at eye level where I can be reminded of it regularly. It is also on the back of my business cards.
It is true that no one has the right to make us feel powerless or less of a person. NO ONE! And while it is a bitter pill to sometimes swallow, we do have a say/choice in how someone makes us feel.
OK, then why is it so easy to feel inferior or powerless?
There are many reasons…
Maybe someone we loved put us down and because we loved them, we believed them. (Hey, people we love and/or love us know us best, right? NOT ALWAYS.)
Maybe it is because we have always been afraid to stand up for ourselves in fear we would rock the boat or make someone angry.
Maybe it is because we spend time comparing ourselves with others and wishing we had what they have.
Maybe it is because we just don’t trust ourselves and our abilities.
Does any of this sound familiar?
If so, please don’t despair because reclaiming your power (and I am not referring to maniacal power) is absolutely possible. Give the following a whirl and see what happens…
1) Make a list of your MANY amazing attributes. (Yes, you have many!!) You should even write down all the attributes you wish to have. At the top of the list, be sure to write the words, “I am…”
2) As you write, if your inner-critic or self-doubter (that little contradictory voice) rears its head, thank it for its contributions and then tell it to be quiet. ;) Please be sure just to keep writing!
3) Take your list and over the next 90 days read your list to yourself five times in the morning and five times at night before bed.
Just remember, you do have the power and no one has the right to turn it off.